Prepared to Fail?

I spoke to a good man today. He is Canadian but has lived most of his life in Africa. He annoyed me a little but that’s because he is a good man. I am in Africa doing the ultimate young idealistic thing. When the man asked what I do, in stead of giving my vague, I-don’t-want-you-think-I’m-a-freak answer, I told him. He asked how long I have been here then nodded knowingly and gently tried to prepare me for failure. He explained that politics is poison in Africa and told of his experiences in Uganda and Kenya. The implication was, of course, that any sensible person would avoid poison and that since politics (mostly) always has been poison in Africa, it always will be and so it is best left alone. It was an imminently sensible thing to say. It was based on experience much deeper than mine and came from what is probably a much wiser person that me. Had I been in his shoes, I probably would have said the same.

You see, seasoned missionaries and aid workers “know the type.” They’re young, they’re idealistic, many of them are talented, and they want to save the world. They know the type because that’s who they were 20, 30, and 40 years ago and they look with concern on people like me because it has been a journey of heart-break and disappointment. Many have tried and the ones who claim success are only those who have taken the approach of blessing a little corner of the world, the ones who have learned not to save the world, not to save Africa, not to save Malawi, not to save a city, not to save a village, but to save a person and then venture to influence a village.

Almost to a person, everyone who has tried to change the system has failed. They’ve tried and failed for decades, hundreds and thousands of people have tried and failed. They’ve tried through force, persuasion, money, industry, and faith – and they have failed. Individuals have changed and gotten better and systems have changed but they have not gotten better. And because these people have tried and failed, they think it cannot be done. They tell me how it is in Africa, they believe it will never change, and history is on their side.

I’m tempted to resent people who try to prepare me for the "inevitable" failure. But I know it comes from concern and evidence. They do it because they care about me, because they see me as they were and they’ve been hurt. And I persist like the child who jumps off the roof onto the trampoline after being told that he’s going to hurt himself. Everyone who does it hurts himself. I did it and I hurt myself. And they cringe like an adult who sees a child who is determined to hurt himself and cannot learn from others’ hard knocks.

They prepare me to fail because they care, and yet, I am not prepared to fail. Because to learn the lesson they are trying to teach is the surest way to fail. And so long as there is a five percent chance of success I will try for it as if I am sure to win and if 19 more people will come behind me with the same attitude the odds are that one of us will win and the efforts of 20 young idealists will have changed the world.