Blessed to Receive

I am not good at receiving gifts. But I am learning. I have had a lot of practice in the past two weeks and it has been refreshing. I know that it is more blessed to give than to receive, that I should love my neighbor as myself, and that money can’t make you happy. But I also know that it can be a wonderful blessing to receive, that I should love myself, and that money is also a blessing.

In the past two weeks I have spent nights in Washington, DC; Raleigh, NC; Paris, TX; Gruver, TX; Greeley, CO; and Alexandria, VA. And I have not spent a cent for housing. I stayed with a generous ministry in Washington, at the Marriott in Raleigh (paid for by someone who supports my boss), with my great aunt in Paris, with my parents in Gruver, with my brother in Greeley, and with my former roommate Evan and his wife in Alexandria. My friends and family have lent me cars and given me rides from NC to TX and then from TX to CO. They have fed me free meals and offered generous amounts of free technical advice and services for my work. My little brother even drove to CO to go skiing with me.

It could seem frivolous but there is something serene about being in the thin air where the chill wind comes over the mountain and no trees can grow, then turning to follow the wind as it sweeps over the snow and down the mountain.

I did something stupid though and tried to ski a black diamond slope that was very steep and shaped like a giant egg carton. It put my bum knee in such serious jeopardy that I minorly damaged it and walked the last bit in my ski boots. By the end I was so tired that I lost a ski when I was racing down a straight stretch. I went into a one-skied skid to slow down and then fell over the edge of the road I was on. I landed in a 5-foot snow drift. It was a serious struggle to get out since my efforts mostly pushed the snow down the mountain instead of pushing me up. It gave a good-natured laugh to my brother and one of medics who had clued into my distress and was following me down the mountain at a respectful distance. I'm glad no one had a camera but it was kind of funny when you get over your pride. The whole day was pure therapy – a gift from God.

I know it is more blessed to give than to receive, but I have no shame in saying it has been a profound blessing to receive as my loved ones wittingly and unwittingly took turns feeding the parts of me that were hungry.

I know that we are to love our neighbors as ourselves but I am also learning to love myself enough to be grateful and think it is worthwhile when someone goes out of his way and gratuitously blesses me.

I know that money can’t by happiness, but I freely admit that I relish and thank God for many expensive things that have refreshed me on this trip. Abundant, nutritious, convenient, food; hot showers; air travel; high speed internet; carpet; good cars and roads; clean air; beautiful landscaping; and thick, soft mattresses – I love these things. They take money, they’re a blessing, and many of my friends have never had them. I’m drinking them in and thanking God.

It’s a change for me because I was raised to pull my own weight and be a burden to no one. I learned to give and expect nothing in return and I prided myself on being independent. I fooled myself into thinking that my happiness was not affected by material things. I thought I was only supposed to give and I never learned the art of gracefully receiving. It made me uncomfortable when people did things for me and I somehow thought it was virtuous to decline or at least protest.

With God’s grace I will continue to give to others and I will pray that they are more gracious receivers than I have been. If they are, the gifts will be more of a blessing and both the giver and receiver more blessed.

It is better to give than to receive because giving is even better than a very good thing. Loving our neighbors as ourselves only means something when we love ourselves very much. And money cannot buy happiness but it can buy something that will bless those who have a need.